Get It as I Need It

There has yet to be a man who touches so gently,
fingers reaching, non-trembling palms confident
awaiting panties touching the floor; as instructed,
not corrupted by the line of women I know want to
hear his opinions concerning their vaginal linings,
his timing with soft words almost scheduled like
our one-on-one meetings, lasting anywhere between
five to 30 minutes,
informative to the point where dependency is developing,
it is only our third time yet I’m totally engulfed in him,
it would be wrong of me to lust him,
so I stick to appreciation,
elation always follows our interactions,
him touching my inner canal, deep,
leaves cervix bending, contractions,
pulsating, crossing legs, hoping he doesn’t notice,
comforting, he tells me,
“its normal, relax until involuntary movement subsides,”
the space between my thighs is his to explore until
he is needed no more,
when the opportunity presents itself I’ll do as I did before,
get his number off the refrigerator door,
972.58O.BGYN

Man Lecture

NO means NO,
however, it also means NOT NOW,
when uttered, stop pondering the WHY,
begin contemplating the HOW,
entry, not easily gained is achievable,
focus on the believable, not deceiving,
my reasoning is subject to change like seasons,
approach with weapons of intellect,
swooning never brings about grieving,
SEE, the shroud cloaking this heart is penetrable,
only if vulnerable hands are extended,
broken loves can be mended along with your ego
should I tell you to step to the end of the line,
forego initial attempts, please try again,
remember the order of nature, backwards,
wife, lover, confidant, friend,
all WOMEN really want is an equal
to serve as a source of respect, joy, protection,
LEARN to recognize the difference between…

…REFUSAL and REJECTION

Incomplete Draft #1

Two Slices of Chocolate Cake

He finally asked the dreaded question,
I was eager to hear, but hesitant to answer,
“can we trios?”

Initial thought, place him in triage, brain contusion,
nose bleeding, further thinking yielded curiosity,
“with whom?”

Silence filled the room, bouncing between us
like Pong, eyes rolling upward like tempest winds
forming over thundering oceanic seas, he braced himself,
opened his mouth, speaking, “your mom.”

Speechless,
…dropping to his knees, he divulged our secret,
“she told me you were going to give her as my birthday gift,”
how convenient, she has stolen my thunder,
but not my lightening, casual fantasy turned real,
how frightening, and since the cat was out of the bag
I indulged, "you fuck her, we make love"…

Stolen Self-esteem

Ovarian juxtaposition,
feminine life capsules nestled next to cancerous cells,
proximity siamese,
limiting procreation diagnosis,
vanishing months remain,
sheets stained with failed attempts,
wasted tears,
self-inflected blameful jeers
lighting wicks to powder kegs buried
inward, anchored deep within inactive womb,
uterus in bloom, however, not enough to yield life,
opportunities for being a wife de-escalating,
vaginal confines hibernating,
leaving this rose praying for germination,
motherly confirmation,
though it is not defining,
it is necessary…